On A Different Note...

I must say that before I loved cooking, i loved reading. i still do. And I love to read food lit to combine the two things I adore. But I decided to take the BBC test below. They say that most will only have read 6 of the 100 books below. Let's see how I do...

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Tally your total at the bottom.
2) Put in a note with your total in the subject


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte X
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte X
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (I've read a good chunk of them, so I'm counting it) X
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier X
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger X
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell X
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame X
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy X
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (darn, movie don't count)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen X
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen X
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini X
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving X
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery X
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding X
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan X
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel X
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon X
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (1st page a dozen times, guess it doesn't count)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov X
63 The Secret History - Donna Tart
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding X
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath X
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens X
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro X
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert X
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry X
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad X
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupéry X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

HEY!! I got 49! Not bad I must say myself. Some of them I read in school, others as a child (The Wind in the Willows, The Secret Garden, Little Women, Charlotte's Web) but I read a bunch on my own as well. This makes me realize I need to read more Dickens. I don't think seeing Great Expectations with Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke a hundred times counts. Copy and paste the quiz and check it out for yourself.

Valentine's Day Spinach Lasagne Bolognese

John and I decided that for Valentine's Day we would stay home and cook together. Well, originally he was going to cook for me, then we decided we would do something together. On the rainy Saturday that was V Day I sat on my couch and looked through a bunch of cooking magazines for ideas. I decided on a recipe in Gourmet for Spinach Bolognese Lasagne. Valentine's was cold and rainy in San Francisco, so I didn't change out of my sweats all day. I had a notion to shower and put on a pretty dress but John told me he didn't care, and I was sooo comfortable, so sweats it was.

Cooking together was a really nice change from me being in the kitchen alone most of the time. We chopped and stirred together, John did all the spinach defrosting and ringing out plus all the ricotta filling. Actually, how goofy is this, when we were at the store we grabbed what we thought was 2 boxes of chopped frozen spinach. Upon returning home we discovered one was actually chopped frozen broccoli. We used it anyway. I have no idea if the lasagne would have been better or worse without the broccoli, but too bad. I thought it was still tasty, and broccoli is green and good for you, I doubt I would have noticed if I hadn't seen the package.

Part of the proposed menu was a Brownie Pudding that I saw Ina make on the Food Network. we searched high and low for Framboise and bought all the ingredients even1 In the end we bought some raspberry extract. But after cooking the lasagne, which I made the mistake of not noticing that the bolognese was supposed to simmer for one hour before putting it in the oven for another hour plus!, we were tired and I was not in the mood to dirty the kitchen again. Champagne and lasagne on the couch was our Valentine's meal and I couldn't have asked for anything better. I must admit I think I kept the bolognese on the stove for too long. Because we used the no-cook noodles they suck up a ton of liquid, leaving our lasagne a bit dry. It was solved by adding a splash of olive oil, which really brightened up the flavors too, but next I will make sure my bolognese looser before I add it. Check out how close my lasagne looks to the picture on the recipe!

Green Pea, Leek & Potato Soup

Mmm, there's nothing more comforting or inexpensive than my green pea vichyssoise. I got a bunch of leeks in my organic delivery and was excited about making it. basically, all I do is chop up some leeks (and clean them of course, never forget to clean your leeks) and chop some potatoes. Stick in large pot with some butter. Cook for a few, add a bunch of chicken stock and water, and garlic if you want with the leeks, and cook. Add a bag of frozen peas after 20 minutes, cook more, and puree. Boom, done. Nothing more to it. Season to taste of course and this time I served it with some heavy whipping cream, chives, and bay shrimp on top. Lovely. The soup is very healthy so there need not be any guilt involved with the cream. I hadn't added shrimp before, but John's one of those protein guys, so I was trying to be creative.

Johnny likes his soup warm, I like it cold, it really doesn't matter, whatever your taste buds are craving. Traditionally vichyssoise does not have green peas, but I love the addition. The peas add such a vibrant color, nutrition, and a lovely taste. But to each his own. I am not a traditional girl like that. Oh, and there are real recipes out there for vichyssoise, ones that include actual measurements and not "add as many leeks and potatoes as you have on hand, use up half package of chicken stock before it goes bad." That's just the way I happen to cook!

Mercedes- Hair of the Dog Cantina

No, I didn't need or have the hair of the dog during a work lunch, that's just the name of the restaurant we went to! It's right around the corner from my office and sort of a hidden gem. My only complaint about my chicken tacos was that they were sort of expensive. Eleven bucks for tacos?! I live in San Francisco which basically means you can find dirt cheap Mexican food that's really good all over the place. Ok, or maybe in the Mission, but I was shocked. All the lunch entrees, burritos, etc, were over 10 bucks. Yeah, the portions were big, but I don't know if I'll return. Maybe if I am in desperate need for the hair of the dog I might, but other than that, I'll save my pesos for $4 jumbo burritos.

New Look

Tell me what you think about my new header! I've changed things a bit. Do you like it?

Man vs. Food

I think I have a new show. It's on the Travel Channel. I stayed up the other night til almost 3 in the morning watching what must have been a marathon of them.
MAN VS. FOOD
It is just great. Adam Richman is so funny and charming and yes, it is mildly disgusting what he puts in his body, but for some reason it is incredibly entertaining. In the episodes I saw he ate about 15 dozen oysters in New Orleans,Atomic hot wings in Philly (apparently higher than high on the Skoville scale), ate the Carnivore Pizza Challenge in Atlanta, well you get the gist. The guy is nuts, but in the most endearing way. I think I may have developed a bit of a crush.
Check out the show. it's amusing at worst and amazing at best. And check out the show here.

Dark Greens are Good For You

Most people probably don't think, mmmm, kale. But that's exactly what I have been thinking recently. So I made some, easy solution, right? In a pan I sauteed some shallots and mushrooms in olive oil. When they were pretty soft I added the kale, stuck a little water in the pan, and placed a lid on it. Steam city! A voila, dunzo. I had told Johnny that I wanted a light and healthy dinner, and boy did we get one! I added a salad with my new favorite dressing. I make a faux French dressing.

Squirt about a tablespoon of ketchup in a small glass jar with a lid or in a bowl. Add 1/2 a teaspoon of garlic powder, a big pinch of sugar, a tablespoon of vinegar (or more) and 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil.
Add salt and pepper to taste and either shake or whisk.

It is really good, sweet and vinegary, just like I like. I like to make a jar of this and bring it with me to work to add to my salads. Adding some chopped shallots makes it even more divine. Bon Appetit!

Something's Fishy

What would be fishy? My house- for days after I actually cooked fish. But it was worth it. John and I bought some lovely cod at Molly Stone's and went home to make a quick and tasty dinner. I turned on the pan, stuck some zucchini in the oven, grabbed my salad stuff and went about quick coating the fish. Instead of using buttermilk or eggs, I simply sprinkled salt and pepper over the fish and then coated it with breadcrumbs. Did they coat it perfectly? No, but it was fine.

I did the fish on the stove top at first and then stuck the pan in the oven to finish its cooking. Here's a great cooking tip. When you take the crazy hot pan out of the oven and place it on the stove again, the handle is STILL HOT. Don't grab it with your bare hand. Because that HURTS. And sadly, yes, I am speaking from experience. Wise words from a klutz. Following the sad burning hand, I stuck ice all over it but it insisted on throbbing all evening. Oh, my other tip is don't take a hot shower after burning yourself. Even if you think it feels better. And even if you think you need to because you are in gross sweaty gym clothes. Do NOT take a shower. Because every time the water hits that sad red mark on the side of your hadn ti burns. Badly. I am glad that everyone can learn from my mistakes. So sad.

Sometimes A Girl Just Wants Crab

The other night John and I were discussing what to eat for dinner. Something healthy was my main criteria, and not too heavy. I threw out chicken but he said no and I agreed that I make too much chicken. Fish? Hmm, I could go for some salmon. and then it struck us... CRAB!
Off we went to Molly Stone's to pick up some crabbies and sourdough bread. The crab was good price, I can't remember exactly but I think about $8.99/pound. I had tons fo salad fixings at home plus cocktail sauce and mayonnaise (yes, I like to dip my crab in mayo. Some people may not, but I do.) John melted some butter and squeezed a lemon into it. While I made the salad Johnny fixed up the crab and set the table with all the additions that I love with my crab.

And dinner was perfect. Fresh, delicious crab, a large green salad loaded with raw veggies and my favorite Semifreddi's seeded sourdough baguette. To die for. We sat at my nice round table in the alcove of the house and had a lovely and romantic meal. It felt pretty good to be able to have a delicious and good for you meal for under $20 and 15 minutes of prep. Always remember to take your trash out that night though. I think the house was stinky just having all the crab in there for a few hours! I can't wait until our next crab meal. Next time I'll steam some artichokes to go along with it.

Moroccan Chicken with Stewed Prunes and Tomatoes

This is one of my all time favorite chicken recipes. You stew this chicken with a bunch of spices like cinnamon and then add the sweet prunes. Ok or you can call them dried plums. Apparently the prune industry is trying to change the name from prune to dried plums to escape the apparent bad reputation that prunes have. I suppose that prune does bring up the negative connotation of grandparents and an attempt at being "regular" but I think that a prune is delicious no matter what you call it.
While I cooked the chicken I also made some egg noodles which I added a little butter and some poppy seeds too. This was a lovely base for the chicken and all the sweet and yummy pan juices to run over. I had a drumstick with my noodles on the first night and kept the breasts for the following evening.

Happy New Years!

Have a wonderful new years! If I ever leave work, and stop eating jelly beans, then I am going to go out and celebrate!! Happy 2009 and au revoir 2008!

Christmas!

Christmas dinner was delicious. My mom cooked a ton of food. I made some roasted carrots and brussel sprouts. We also had salad, beef, and cheese grits. Everyone came over, we all had some wine and a nice evening. Santa would have been proud.

Beretta

John and I finally got to go on our much anticipated date. We don't manage to go and eat out a lot just the two of us, we're always so busy on the weekends and on the weekdays if we aren't busy we usually just want to go home and crash, so this was a real treat. Ok, we aren't that busy on the weekends, we tend to go out with our friends and sort of bypass any official dinner. And John has to spend time with his other great love, football, these days, so sometimes I fall to the wayside. Fortunately football season is almost over- YAY! I had been nagging him (his word) about taking me on a "real date" and he finally did. He even called the restaurant ahead of time! I was so impressed with him. We chose to go to Beretta, a restaurant that was opened this year in the Mission, and I knew that it was meant to be as soon as we arrived because we found a parking spot instantly! It was amazing (for those who don't live in San Francisco, this NEVER happens). And then we walked into the restaurant and instantly got a table (Beretta does not take reservations). I thought this was a wonderfully auspicious start. Unfortunately I have to admit that the food did not keep in line with what started out to be a very lucky evening.

John and I started our meal with the warm radicchio and escarole with pancetta tesa. I was excited for a warm salad on this very chilly evening, but felt that the Italian bitter greens were simply too bitter. Unfortunately this became what I considered the theme of the meal. I like bitter greens, I feel as though they are a very "adult" taste but one that I have gotten used to. But this salad was cringe worthy bitter.
We followed it up with the bruschetta with crescenza and broccoli rabe. Once again I was attacked with the bitter greens. Crescenza is a very soft and lovely italian like cream cheese. I actually had one bite, realized that the taste of the cheese was completely hidden by the pungent broccoli rabe flavor, and so I ate it off so I could eat the cheesy toast on its own. Sadly, I know that this was not the chef's intention, but why would you place such a strong vegetable on top of such a mild cheese? I couldn't understand it. John agreed as well. I told him to eat the broccoli rabe first and he thanked me for the tip.

Our main courses arrived shortly after and I will give a preview and say that things went up from the starters. John ordered the saffron risotto with osso buco. The risotto was cooked nicely and the osso buco was perfectly flaky and tender. I may have had a few more bites that he would have liked because of this fact. I was surprised that I liked the osso buco on top of the risotto, when he ordered it I thought it would be too rich, but the flavors were not overbearing whatsoever.

My pizza came at the same time and I was excited about the smells that were emanating from the pan. It was the Funghi misti, tomato, fontina and thyme pizza. Beretta is apparently known for their pizzas and they make up a large chunk of the menu, and I can see why. When I lived in Florence, Italy when I was in college I might say I was addicted to the fresh very thin crust pizzas that are in so many restaurants. They are meant to be eaten with a knife and fork because they tomato sauce there is very thin and liquidy, therefore the pizza cannot stand up on its own in the center. This had that sweet and light tomato sauce that I adore in Florence, and I am excited to go back and try some more of them.
I wanted to absolutely love Beretta. I was so excited about going there and I used to really like the Last Supper Club, its previous incarnation. Unfortunately some of the dishes missed for me, but I think I would be willing to give it another shot in the future. I think the heirloom tomato and pesto pizza might redeem it for me.

Trader Joe's Pad Thai

A while ago I bought this box of pad thai at Trader Joe's. I figure that it was the perfect thing to bring to work to eat and I love pad thai, so what could be better? Well, this could be better. It looked a bit odd from the get go, the noodles were all smooshed and vacuum packed and the sauce came in a silver space age looking package. Sexy food this was not. I believe I would give them a D on packaging. The cute blue box was nice, but it should be about the food.

I emptied both packets into the redeeming blue box, mix it up and separated the sad white noodles and stuck it in the nuker for the 2 specified minutes. Doo doo doo, wait wait wait. Ok, I removed the box and instantly burned my hand on the steam coming out of the top of the box, an auspicious start. First taste: meh. It just wasn't very good. The noodles were fine, I was actually surprised at the consistency. But the sauce was just bad. It tasted fake. I sort of felt like I was eating a version of pad thai that looks like pad thai but actually has not one ingredient that is actually found in pad thai. It was quite odd. And I was quite disappointed for this was my lunch and it was like a was a little bit cheated. I usually love Trader Joe's food. I use their tomato sauce all the time which is both cheap and fresh tasting. But I thing that Trader Ming should take some lessons from Trader Giotto and Trader Jose, for they are doing a better job supporting their culinary cultures than poor Ming.

A Dinner Date at Beretta

OOoh, am I excited. John and I are going to Beretta for dinner tonight and I have been dying to go there. I was originally bummed when I heard that the Last Supper Club was closing down, I always liked that restaurant and I have had some really lovely evenings there. But the Beretta replaced it and started getting stellar reviews. Check out what Michael Bauer says in the Chronicle: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/07/06/CMTJ119VD6.DTL&type=food
I am just so excited about having a nice dinner with John. We cook at home mostly and rarely go out just the two of us, so this will be a treat. I'll take pictures and update tomorrow for everyone!
http://www.berettasf.com/menu.html
Here's the menu, what would you order?

Split Pea Soup- Forever

I made a crap load of soup last night. Seriously. I made so much. It is sort of ridiculous. I don't even know what to do with it all! And I bet you I have at least 10 servings still in my fridge at home. And I froze some. And I sent some with John to work. I have some in my fridge at work. This is getting crazy. Here's how it all started.
In the spirit of the recession and my own pathetic checkbook, I decided to make a ton of soup and feed myself and John for the week. Unfortunately I always forget that I don't want to eat the same thing every day for lunch and dinner. That's a lot of split peas! And don't get me wrong, I love the things, but already I feel like I am turning a bit green.
I went to the store last night and got groceries for the week. $67. Not bad, not good, but what can i say, there are certain things that I won't pay less for. Like I am not going to buy the cheapo eggs, I like my organic, free-range Judy's eggs. Hopefully the chickens will thank me one day. And I am addicted to string cheese, I just love the stuff. It doesn't run cheap either.
Earlier in the day I sat on the couch and read through a bunch of cookbooks and decided to go with an old favorite- Ina Garten's Split Pea Soup. I've made this many times and directly recall that it makes a lot, so I considered halving the recipe. But then I decided I wanted enough to freeze and for lunches, so I went with it. 6 large (mine were HUGE) carrots, 6 new potatoes, onion, garlic, oregano, 16 cups of chicken broth, two pounds of split peas, this was a hefty soup! I also decided to throw in some brown rice during the cooking, I thought this could add a little more texture and nutrition. What I didn't count on was how much more liquid I had to add, as the rice soaked up a lot of it. The good thing is that the rice worked! It added a really great texture to the soup that wouldn't have been there without it. So I am officially adding it to the recipe, but perhaps only using 1.5 pounds of lentils now.
To top off my endless pot of soup I made Ina's parmesan croutons. This is no more then thinly slicing a baguette, I bought a sourdough one, and laying it on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, some salt and pepper, and grated parmesan and you're done! Well, after 10 or so minutes in a 400 degree oven. These are delicious with the soup. My other little crispy treat was prosciutto. I stuck some slices in the oven with the croutons so they would be nice and crispy.
My bowl ended up quite pretty if you ask me! Lovely thick and chunky soup, prosciutto bits, crisp parmesan bread and some chopped parsley. It is delicious, but do I really have to eat it for a week?

Romaine Spears with Blue Cheese and Cherry Tomatoes

For the past few months I have been compiling a cookbook. No, not one that I have actually written (although I always tweak my recipes and I do make sure that I take notes on this) but I have been taking all those scraps of paper with recipes scrawled on them, recipe print outs, and the stack of about 30 issues of Food & Wine, Gourmet, and Bon Appetit and transcribed or pasted them into a large binder. I will talk more about this soon, maybe when the project is complete, but it seems endless. Technically I suppose it could last forever, as there will always be a new issue coming out and it seems that recipes are endless. But it has been really fun so far and a lot less expensive than buying all the cookbooks I want. I dove into my new book the other night and decided I would make a delicious romaine and blue cheese salad. This was a lighter take on blue cheese, it has an oil and vinegar vinaigrette mixed with chunks of bleu. Delicious!
I took my romaine spears and artfully (ha!) placed them on two plates. Then I followed the recipes to make the vinaigrette, white wine vinegar, olive oil, shallot, garlic, a smidge of anchovy paste (right? I know!), salt and tons of fresh cracked pepper, and a large chunk of blue cheese crumbled. You can't really get better than that! The actual recipe called for red onion and no tomatoes, but I had shallots and I thought that the tomatoes would add color, sweetness, more vitamins. I poured the dressing all over the spears, then added on the tomatoes and some chopped shallots. It was delicious!
The garlic, pepper, and cheese really gave it a bite. Actually I was pleased with my addition of cherry tomatoes because the tartness really helped mellow and cut those stronger flavors. This was originally going to be our starter for dinner, but after making these and eating them, John and I were completely full! Glad I didn't go ahead and make the planned meal. I simply pushed it to the next day.
Also, this is a wonderful dish but I wouldn't make it for a first date! Garlic, onions, and pungent cheese is best for two people know each other quite well. In my opinion.

Thanksgiving- A Pictorial

I figure that since a picture is worth a thousand words, I would let my photos do the talking. Here goes!
TURKEY

Pumpkin Turkey

My grandmother, Tutu, gave my mom a "turkey" for Thanksgiving. I think it is the funniest thing ever. Behold the Almighty Pumpkin Turkey. Oh, and getting those posts in there was HARD WORK! Here's another image in case the first wasn't enough. Mom with her creation. I think he's cute!

My Muni Hell- An Non-Cooking But Funny Story

This is not food related but funny nonetheless. I take the Muni to work every morning. This means that I typically arrive to work late, annoyed, flustered, or all of the above. There is a book being written in San Francisco with Muni stories and I decided to submit mine. Here it is!

A few months ago I was waiting to ride the 5-Fulton to work. I have the pleasure of living near the Western Addition so there are always lots of interesting characters hanging out on the bus. I was waiting at the crowded bus stop and I saw this seemingly crazy older woman muttering to herself. Oh wonderful, another loon to share the bus with. We all pile on the bus and it is crowded. The 5 is usually packed in the mornings, but this morning it was so crowded you literally could not move an inch. I had to find a space for my feet and hold tight. I was near the front of the bus standing facing the people that were seated. This is always awkward because it close quarters, but you sort of hold your breath and deal. Next to me was a small, young Asian woman who looked dressed for work, and the crazy old bird from outside comes and sits down right in front of her.
There we are, moving along, when all of a sudden the old coot yells very loudly “Bitch, if you don’t get your pussy out of my face I am gonna slap the shit out of you.”
The bus goes silent, everyone is shocked, the poor woman sort of whispers “I can’t really move right now, there’s no place to go.”
Then from across the bus you hear “sheesh, somebody always gotta cause trouble.” Crazy then yells at her “when this bitch gets her pussy out of my face I am gonna slap the shit out of who said that.” And again she yells again at the poor lady next to me “you heard me bitch, I will slap the shit out of you if you don’t move your pussy.”
At this point we are all shocked. I was ready to call it a day and go home, but only after being evil and thinking, thank God that’s not me. I am so glad it was someone else. After that we stopped at VanNess which always loosens the bus up a bit so the poor victim of this whole thing could move farther down the bus where her pussy could be in peace. I have seen and heard a lot of things on the Muni but this was probably the most shocking. Perhaps because I also wouldn’t have put it past this woman to stand up and start slapping people. It’s hard when you get to work and you already feel exhausted from the trip there!