Off the Wagon- The Meat Wagon That Is

So, I ordered my first steak. I was at Izzy's Steakhouse with Kiki (www.baguetteocroissant.blogspot.com) and we decided to share the BACON wrapped fillet mignon. And the creamed spinach and potatoes au gratin. HUH? The weirdest thing is I never ate this stuff when I DID eat meat. Granted I was 12 and it is totally normal for tastebuds to change, but part of my decision to go mostly meatless was that is was easy for me. I didn't struggle. I never craved a hamburger, I never couldn't help myself to the bacon. It just was simple. So I don't know what has changed. My mother asked me if I was pregnant, apparently that changes tastes, cravings etc (the answer is NO) so I do not have an explanation for it. But I am pondering going back to the veggie side.

This has been a fun few months, dabbling with the meats, taking a bite of a burger, but I think that this isn't a lifestyle that is going to remain permanent. I don't know how staunch I will be about meat in the future, but I really want to go back to a lifestyle where it is a rare treat, perhaps once or twice a year. This weekend i was going through some of my mom's old Gourmet magazines, and I read a long article about chicken production in the United States. The article was basically about the tactics that the American plants use when killing the chickens and that it could be less painful than it currently is. Now, mind you, this article was from July 2007, so things could possibly have changed in the last thirteen months, but for some reason I doubt it. Included was an interview with a Norwegian chicken farmer and how he spent a ton of money changing his facilities so the chickens died a more peaceful death. Naturally I sat there reading this and kept saying, I will never eat chicken again. Or any other meat.
Is this going to be true? That remains to be seen. But I would like to think so.

To Pig or Not to Pig- My Struggle with Vegetarianism

At age 12 I gave up meat. I think that perhaps it was an overdose of "Charlotte's Web" at a young age, or perhaps it was the fact that I am a complete bleeding heart and would be physically incapable of ever killing an animal, but I told my mother I would not eat meat anymore. This was completely unacceptable to her. I lived in a house with four other meat eaters (my parents, brother and sister) and she was not going to cook a special meal for me every night (understandably). But I felt VERY passionate about my inability to eat Wilbur or any of his buddies and I held my ground. Eventually we came to a compromise, I would continue to eat fish and poultry but I would cut out the main barnyard creatures. No more pigs, cows, lambs, etc. I was never a huge meat lover to begin with so this was not a problem. I have always hated pepperoni pizza and preferred salad over steak, so the personal change was not as tough.

When I went to college I became a total vegetarian. No more chicken and fish. I even went through 9 months in Europe without tasting one bistecca Fiorentina or a authentic moussaka or souvlaki. I have never felt as though I was missing out on too much, but recently I have begun dabbling back into the meat world. The world of the Omnivores. Now, I have always been surrounded by said omnivores. I am friends with them, I date them, I am related to them, I even live with them. It never bothered me, it was more a "to each his own" kind of sentiment. But since I have started dabbling in the meats (there is now a bite about once a week. And I ate a strip of flank steak last night) I am beginning to feel guilty and have some remorse.

This morning John and I were driving through China town on our way to work and we saw a large truck. As we were nearing said vehicle, it became apparent that the contents of this 4-wheeled monstrosity were pig carcasses. Yes, they were filling it to the brim. I was shocked! Now, I know that bacon, pancetta, pork, and guanciale and all other funny words are actually a nice way to say "dead pig prepared in the manner of..." Yes, I am not naive. But somehow seeing an entire truck filled with the little guys makes it all more real. This is not one single strip of bacon that I am eating (I usually like to say I am just tasting it, for some reason the euphemism makes it less cruel)but I am a responsible party in the butchering of animals. I am an active consumer of animals and it made me feel awful. Now, I believe I am actually overestimating my meat consumption. I have yet to actually purchase any red meat (I know Pork is "the other white meat" but I put it in the same category). I buy fish and chicken, but I actually eat those in only small amounts as well.

So, what to do/ Do I continue my exploration into the dark world of the omnivores? Or do I rapidly remove myself and go back to my old ways? I have thought about going to complete vegetarianism again too. How long would it last? Well, the problem is John eats the meat, and I am a sucker for sushi. My brief foray into veganism made me realize that I am capable of eating that way and will try to eat a mainly vegan diet for many of my meals, but I cannot exclude cheese from my diet. I could probably never eat cream again, or milk, ice cream or even yogurt, but not the cheese. I am weak for it. I love it. It makes me smile/ I'll save my cheese love for another day. But what is a girl to do. When you starting walking down a path do you embrace it or not?

Well, I have yet to decide but I know this, I will never be a huge meat eater ever. I do not like it that much and I am TRULY dedicated to attempting to buy food that is GOOD for this earth. I try to shop at local markets, buy from local brands, and I am lucky that the Bay Area has some of the more incredible food producers in the country. I enjoy supporting places like the Cowgirl Creamery and the Acme Bread Company. So, am I going to purchase a steak one day? I have no idea. I still have huge issues with the slaughtering of animals and really don't want that in my body very often. So what should I do? I guess I will figure it out. Maybe it will just come to me organically...